Divine Dessert came by 12AM on a Saturday night at the “BYG” dining place. It was time for some candid pictures and shots. I noticed a sign hanging in the corner, “Screens Off, Scenes On‘. That line summarised how we spent time with three amazing couples. As the screens went off, we had 3 hours of animated scenes playing out in front of us. We bared our souls, we were vulnerable. As Brene Brown says, ” Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It’s about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is a mutual and integral part of the trust-building process.”
Before we could reach the restaurant, it was an up and down moment for us as a couple of drivers canceled (Diwali weekend) after accepting the trip. On the way to the restaurant, my wife mentioned that “Life is like a sine curve“. We were discussing all the highs in our lives. The next day was Diwali and I felt everyone was after “chasing the darkness away by lighting their world up”.
We reached by 9PM and we got into the groove instantly. The couples were playing a game called true and false. Each person had to tell 3 things and mention how many were true and false. Our job was to get those rights and wrongs and then wrap some conversations around those things. Each of the 8 adults got their turn and it was a humourous session. In fact, I got up from my seat to ask my close friend more details on the truths. Sometimes they call it “heads up for tails“.
Next, it was time to roam a bit and play another game of numbers. Standing in a circle we had to clap and snap our fingers when numbers and multiples of 3 and 5 come and as a group, we have to get to 100 without mistakes. Some mistakes were made and somehow we made it past 100. That was also the time we had some nice clicks and shoots. We posed in different styles.
I had the opportunity of discussing relationships and what makes them tick. “How to make our differences work ” is the most important part of the relationship. Add to it we discussed FMRI, Neurons on the sidelines. That morning I was in a customer place and I saw the quote below and it caught my attention. Later, I realized that it is equally applicable to relationships:
We shared some interesting words ( bucket lists and regret lists), the arrow for us in that night was the way each one of us was focussed on the camaraderie and warmth. We did have some side conversations on our past lives (friendly disclosures). One person mentioned how he wants to live only until 72, travel all over the world. Finally, each one of us took this opportunity to understand each other at a deeper level. I had my part of disclosures too ( I’ll save it for another day, another blog). I loved the RICHness of those conversations. Best-selling author Anne Lamott on good marriages and good friendships: “A good marriage is one in which each spouse secretly thinks he or she got the better deal, and this is true also of our friendships.”
To me, two things stood out from the interactions I had with those couples. As the famous words go:
No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That’s the spirit of FORGIVENESS, Even though the eyes don’t see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together that’s “UNITY.” We practice the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness. That is the secret of a relationship.
Alone I can ‘Say’ but together we can ‘Talk’.
Alone I can ‘Enjoy’ but together we can ‘Celebrate’
Alone I can ‘Smile’ but together we can ‘Laugh’
That’s the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other
So what is the BYG picture?
BYG picture was about how as a group of couples we build a “deep level of trust” to have such nice and weird conversations. We need to feel trust to be vulnerable and we need to be vulnerable in order to trust , thanks to Brene Brown again. A new experience weaved with Loyalty. As the Byg Brewsky tagline says , ” Loyalty is the end result of four aspects Trust, Care, Respect and Love.
These 3 couples made us feel good about ourselves. It was a RICH, REAL and BYG picture conversation.
Enjoyed the easy flow of your blog, and the gems that make it most interesting.
Thanks for sharing, Vinod. I think this is one of your most revealing blogs. I also like how you share personal tidbits that make your blog more appealing.
Thank you Ian. Inspired by our one month TRUST challnge and it came at the right time. I noticed that you picked “interesting gems and personal tidbits”, that is a new learning for me.
Relationships of any nature depend solely on trust. Where there is trust candid disclosures or “emptying your thoughts” happen naturally. Gaining and adding value becomes a given after that! Nice read, Vinod.
Yes well said Girija and looking forward to read on your blogs