One morning I forgot to eat my daily bowl of fruits. My wife was surprised because that’s the first thing I eat. My daughter remarked, “In his head, it’s all about numbers, he cannot see, hear or feel anything else“. I was blinded. That was a moment for me to reflect.
Professionally, I live a quarter to quarter life. The dopamine rush I get by hitting the numbers makes me feel good. As Mastin Kipps says,” You have an external target to hit to satisfy your internal emotions“. I was in that pursuit. In the process, I noticed that there were some challenges. In a training workshop, a man told me that “you look very arrogant so I was not comfortable approaching you“. I did not realize how other people perceived me until a defining moment happened with with my friend. In that session, she pointed to things she did not like about me and what i had to change. That was my first step to improving my likability. In one of our TILT meetings and Ian’s coaching sessions I received feedback on the way I was conducting myself. I truly thank all those friends for giving me feedback which made me who I am today. One person from TIL after a session break spoke to me for some time and told me that “I thought you are a tough guy from the looks, but you are not.” I thanked him and moved on.
It was one of the toughest years for us personally. Our bus called life screeched to a grinding halt on sept 5th and we are still recovering in that path. I owe a great debt of gratitude to our tribes for the kind of support we got in those darkest hours.
At the end of the year, it is important to recollect the contribution of people, from all walks of life, who made a significant impact on my life. (R.I.C.H activists)
I travel every week and for me it was a very liberating experience with people and reading books. One book which I liked was “Barking up the Wrong Tree” and I would like to thank Tom Bileyu of Impact Theory for bringing Eric Barker as a guest. I had some amazing experiences with Airline staff and the way they made me realise the importance of customer care and safety.
My daughter says, “you laugh out loud only when you are speaking to your school and collecge friends.” I had the opportunity to be part of a school reunion this year. I caught up with some college friends at a housewarming party. Let us call it in your face gratitude as Pam Grout says in her book “Thank and Grow Rich” of being with friends whom you know from years.
Finally, my blogs helped to get closer to my mother and my extended family. I had good opportunities to visit them once in two months. This was also liberating as I got a chance to understand their lives better.
As a robot Monday till friday I chase life. On Saturday and Sunday, I have to face my wife as a human.
The one person who helped me finish these 49 blogs is my wife. In one such blog post build phase she commented, “you always use past tense in your blog draft.” To which I replied, “that’s because I am so tensed with my past.” Ferocious gratitude to her for being there and doing what she is good at doing.
Today I have changed my past. As Moran Cerf who is one of my favourite neuroscientists commented “you can change your past”. I feel you can change it, if you do not belong there. In my case the transformation happened, thanks to tribe of my titans (family, Friends, TILT, Toastmasters and professionals). So, my deep realization is that I have changed my mind with the heart by being more compassionate.
The thing about being a robot is that you act without emotions and today I believe we have to be emotioanlly fit to capture the key moments in life.
The other day my daughter told me “Dad you have changed.” Congratulations! I told myself. I have become a human being, from a robot.
I am ready to tick the box!