Important & R.E.A.L

The bride and bridegrooms’ vehicle disappeared from the marriage crowd. It was the moment when finally drones, cameras, and phones started winding down from the forefront. Immediately came my shout to my wife’s cousin and family, “We will see you again in the airport”.  People who knew us burst into peels of laughter. Both of us stay at a stone’s throw away distance from each other. Yet we had hardly met in the last two months. This time we decided to go together for the marriage and that is how we met. Yes, all updates were happening on WA and calls. In the busyness of life, this was ok. But nothing like meeting family and friends in person just like that.

My younger daughter asked last weekend, “Dad are you fine now? Now I know why you have got a get well card for mom.” In the last, one month wife and I had to undergo different medical procedures. My recovery happened thanks to my mother, in-laws, and others from my hometown. But this time for my wife’s hospitalization and recovery it was in-laws and her cousin and family who supported us in recovery. This made me realize the importance of relationships.

In our last TILT meeting, we had the subject of education as REAL relationships. The session was very interactive and we had to create a matrix through team engagement and spell out randomly words starting with the R, E, A & L. The four headers were Personal, Important, Official and Social. Today when I went and looked at the header with ” Important” we had listed Respect and Reliable ( R), Empathy and Enabler (E), Affectionate and Accepting (A) and Loyal and Loving (L). Everyone had the questioned who all need to be included in the ” Important” category in our lives. The view from Ian was that it has to include those who are close to you apart from your parents and whom you think really matters for you.

It was one evening when my wife was in the hospital and my mother in law was with her. The entire responsibility of dinner came upon me. I was not in the best of my elements to accept that challenge. In came the ” Important” people. I requested her for cooking and without batting an eyelid she got into the act. These are moments where you really feel good for who they are. I also got into the thick of action supporting her with whatever I knew about the kinds of stuff which was kept in different parts of the kitchen. I also self-congratulated for my deep knowledge of things placed in the kitchen. We all had the meal together it was a wonderful experience. As they say, ” families that eat together stay together”.

Important relationships in my view codify REAL in the true sense. This was embodied by my wife’s cousin and family. Respect and Reliable ( R), Our gratitude goes out for their support and we respect them for who they are and always reliable when it comes to help and support. Empathy and Enabler (E), the way she picked up the challenge with her empathetic mind and accepting the situation as is and then working towards preparing the dinner after a hard day’s work teaching students. Affectionate and Accepting (A), their love affection and acceptance were timeless as they came almost every day even though he drives 100kms in the day and checked her health and was checking on the phone. Loyal and Loving (L) as they are always very humble to share and care.

This framework of “Important & REAL” relationship is new learning for me this year. I am committed to creating important and meaningful relationships with people. My wife shared this quote today on Whatsapp  and it nicely summarises the value of a real relationship