I recently read a column by Jug Suraiya and noticed an interesting line. A Parisian innkeeper, Dossier Boulanger 1765 put up a Latin sign on his establishment which read, ‘ Venite ad me vos qui stomach laborats et ego restaurabo vos“. Translated into English, the sign said, ” Come to me, you with weary stomachs, and I will restore you“.
It was already 2.45 PM. I told my colleague that we would try out a new restaurant. I didn’t realise that I had made a monumental decision. We took a big detour to reach the place by 3.15 PM. We told the driver to go for lunch and we entered the nicely lit lobby of a two-storey building. The restaurant was on the first floor. We entered and were welcomed to sit at a nice table near the door. Ceremonial rituals followed and they gave us the menu. We studied each page carefully and finally, we called the man in a suit and asked him ” “What is that we can get fast?” He narrated everything from his memory. We settled for vegetarianism and so he proposed ” Tandoor Roti, Yellow Dal, Tawa Veg, Pappad and Fresh Lemon water”. From nowhere, an elderly lady, who reminded me of my school principal, popped in and confirmed, “Yellow Dal with Tadka and also Fresh Lime water”. I was very impressed by how they coordinated among themselves. They were truly living the values of Dossier Boulanger.
My colleague and I were involved in our professional discussion so for some time we didn’t worry about what was on our table. Then I became restless. I spotted the man in the suit and he made signs that all was well and it was coming. After some time the lady came slowly and dropped the first hint that all was not well. Their system had refused to take our order! In this case, their ordering system was not enabled to accept the ” Fresh Lime Water with Salt option”. The only option they had was “Mosambi juice”. The lady then attempted to change our order to suit their system! Our initial reaction was shock and awe and then we asked for options. There was only one option. We were humbled when she said, “We will bring cut lemon pieces and you can make it your way“.
“If the world gives you lemons, then make lemonade” goes the saying. After all, humility is a sign of greatness. We stared as they delivered a giant bowl of cut lemons. Resigned to our fate, we asked for some glasses of water. The crew soon delivered the glasses and directed our attention to the bottle of water on our table. They helpfully pointed out the salt and pepper shakers strategically placed on the table. We were transported. We crushed the pieces of lemons and delicately poured water and then sprinkled salt from the condiment dispenser with great disdain. The duo of salt and pepper would have wondered what was happening on their table.
While we were sipping our lemonade we realised that the food had still not arrived. We were delighted when we spotted the waiter bringing a large platter. Initially, we thought he had brought an empty plate. On close inspection, after a hard look, we spotted one pappad in the corner. Its companion seemed to be lost in transit. We both are optimists and so we knew that there would be a happy ending.
Roti and dishes arrived and we relished it and felt good. We did our best to finish but that was beyond our capacity. That is when the elderly lady came up and gave us a stern look and said, ” Why don’t you order rice so that you can finish the rest of the curry?” Neither of us dared to disagree with her. Are we supposed to order or follow the order in this rest-err-rant, I wondered and ordered jeera rice. Ironically, it was one of the best jeera rice I had in years.
Then it was time for the cheque. Before I gave the card, she asked us, ” Are you a member? I can give you some discounts.” Knowing her by now, I was terrified that she would make us lifetime members so I decided to settle the bill as soon as possible. Then she thrust the feedback form on us. We were in a dilemma. The food was good but the service was beyond imagination. I contemplated asking them to waive the service charge as we made the fresh lemon water without dropping a grain of salt on the table. The thought of going back to her stopped me.
In the past hour, we had noticed that the man in the suit was the most valued on that floor. My colleague renamed him as the Zen Master. As we were preparing to leave, a lady came running to him and told him that at Table number 12 the guests were making a lot of noise. Off he went with a posse to table no 12 to defuse the situation. As soon as he calmed them, an eruption broke at another table. Without a change in his expression, he moved towards the other table. There were escalations galore but the Zen Master treaded on with his clueless crew.
As we headed back we reflected on our experience. I was trying to look at the positives. We met a guy who was Zen Like, a Lady who might have served as a headmistress, a chef who was a master at what we ordered and for the first time, we enjoyed freshly prepared lime water with our very hands far away from home. So I decided to rest all those rants which were forming inside my mind. We emerged as enlightened souls from that restaurant ” Fully Restored” just like the way Dossier wanted and I am sure he is turning over in that Paris grave.
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