A Tuesday

I don’t get Monday blues but I did introspect about that Tuesday. I was curious to know what happened that led me to go through a rollercoaster.

I generally get up from bed around 5 AM, but that day I struggled to get up from bed and was not feeling good about the quality of my sleep. Maybe it was too much screen time on Monday evening. I made a perfunctory attempt to carry out my usual morning tasks. By the time I made coffee, unloaded the dishwasher, meditated, and read, I was overwhelmed. I mustered courage and pushed myself to go out for a walk for 30 minutes and that to a certain extent was magical. As they say “when your body moves your brain grooves.” I was recollecting some studies on ” Alter states to alter traits“. But that was not enough. While I was on the walk, I had a tough call, some war of words and I could feel my body tightening and I realised that I was not in control of myself. In our professional sphere, it is quite natural to receive customer escalations but that all added up to my existing state of ennui.

When we are down we tend to blame others as well. During the day, I was not happy with the car driver whom I had hired for the day. I did see that he was driving rashly and it was getting on my nerves. The moment a car would come close to overtaking us he would step on the accelerator. That was putting me off and I had to caution him multiple times. As we hit traffic, I saw him having a war of words with the other driver. Apart from that, I met some old colleagues of mine and usually I do give a very firm handshake but on that day it was a very cold handshake. I was supposed to meet a set of colleagues and they wanted to take me out for lunch. I politely turned down the offer and invited them to a coffee shop during lunch and I could see the grimace on their face. I offered them rolls, sandwiches, and ice-cold coffee which they reluctantly had and my excuse was I was running out of charge on my phone and laptop and this is the best place where “charge was guaranteed”. They accepted without many comments and we went down to discuss our business.

In the evening at home, it was one of the days I surprised my daughter. I came home early from the workplace. Later in the evening my wife and I had some different points of view. In order to parade my wisdom on some point, I got hold of the latest craze which I have, the ” Do Epic Shit” book by Ankur Warikoo. I read out these words aloud to her:

The world will constantly be defining success and failure for you. Realizing this is what is called self – awareness

I am not sure If I can agree with Sophocles when I saw my wife’s facial expression after my sermon.

I guess it was too much caffeine, and too much screen time which led to bad sleep and that is why I was wallowing with misery on that Tuesday. I wondered after having my morning symphony, I still had a bad day. I learned that I have reached a point where I could blog about my “Self-awareness”. As the author mentions in the book ” Success is a relationship you have with yourself “. Now I know too much wisdom is not warranted and so before I went to sleep my wife shared a picture on WhatsApp and told me to check it out which came as below

The Man In The Glass – Poem by Peter Dale Wimbrow Sr.

When you get what you want in your struggle for self
And the world makes you king for a day
Just go to the mirror and look at yourself
And see what that man has to say.

For it isn’t your father, or mother, or wife
Whose judgment upon you must pass
The fellow whose verdict counts most in your life
Is the one staring back from the glass?

He’s the fellow to please – never mind all the rest
For he’s with you, clear to the end
And you’ve passed your most difficult, dangerous test
If the man in the glass is your friend.

You may fool the whole world down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass
But your final reward will be heartache and tears
If you’ve cheated the man in the glass.

Here’s my take on that Tuesday. We all will have our share of good days and bad days. Just reflect on good days and bad days. Write about your good days in your personal journal and don’t share it with anyone. Blog and share with the entire world your bad days. After all…

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