Third Wave

My wife said, ” We wouldn’t have done this at home!” She was referring to the quality time we had with our kids in a coffee shop ( Third Wave). The coffee shop was my commitment to my elder daughter on father’s day. My commitment to my younger daughter was a soft toy and after buying a couple of books we settled down in “Third Wave” coffee shop. The term “Third Wave” was coined in 1999 by Timothy Castle referring to a “focus on quality”.

After ordering, my younger one went and got a chess board. I didn’t know how to play and I had dismissed in my school days as only for bright students. My elder daughter told me that she will teach me. Then I realized that my wife had taught me chess during our initial marriage days and had beaten me hands down. It was time to team up with her. So then my wife and elder daughter started making the moves and counter moves and I was intermittently interjecting with my novice comments. 

In a flash of brilliance, I told my wife to move the knight to a frontal position and I thought they will pull me down. She responded with a wow and that was enough to feed my ego for the moment. 

There were smart moves and bold moves. There were nuances and bold bets. Meanwhile, my younger daughter was counting the black and white players which were knocked from the game. My younger one who was picking the reins of chess looked at me and said: ” are you both together?” In between, she told us that her friend had taught her to play chess. As parents, we looked at each other and that was a revelation. Finally, the number of players on the board dwindled and it was time for checkmate. At around 5 minutes past 10 PM in the night, my daughter swept the chessboard off the table and said, ” yes you guys have won”. 

Before the players were swept off by my daughter from the board we realized that we had spent good 90 minutes in the coffee shop and I asked the guy till what time it is open.  On the way back my daughter was checking the phone and she appeared to be tensed whether we will lose to Afganistan. The way she celebrated Shami’s hat trick was a treat to watch and she had already forgotten the loss from the chess game.

We had a good time with the kids. At home sometimes we are all occupied with our devices and there is a new term derived for the overuse of tech devices and it is called “Tech neck”. Our decision to have this kind of get together and thereby discover our passion for playing chess came as a surprise. My learning was that spending quality time with your children is always the right decision.

Today, my younger daughter sat me down and said: “I will teach you how to play UNO.” I was fascinated by the way she was explaining the rules. We played for 30 minutes and it was clear that I was stacking up more and more cards. The player wins when you have one card. I saw that she is about to have 1 card. In a dramatic fashion, she exercised a rule which was so nice. She called reverse card and it changes the direction of the play. I was amazed by her spirit when she said, ” I will make you win”.

The first wave is what we learn from parents and from the world, the second wave to me was how much we are learning about ourselves and finally “Third Wave”  was a realization of how much we can learn from kids.

Third wave time with kids for us was entertaining even though it had moments of tensions (because of checkmates!) We focused on winning. While my younger daughter taught me through UNO, that winning is not as important as making me feel good.