I asked my wife what is the meaning of hand-me-down. She explained it to me and I got it. But I experienced it a different way…
Over the last 10 years in my community, I had made very few friends and I must admit that I did not make any attempt to improve that circle. I was indebted to several people who had helped my family in times of crisis and need be it medical assistance, covid time support, cake baking, and other activities. I was glad that my elder daughter took up that mantle of responsibility to improve our visibility in the community and I came to be known as my elder daughter’s father. She paid special attention.
The only time I came close to knowing more than 10 families was when I was given the opportunity to conduct a speaking course for 6 weeks. Around that time I got to know some of the teenagers in our community. That gave quite a few connections and of course that was again with the reference “Uncle”.
I admired the way the community organized programs and I was only a mere spectator. It was during the last Onam festival that I got the opportunity to join the milieu and shake my legs only to land in the hospital a few days later for physiotherapy! That said the Doctor whom I went to consult was also referred from the community WhatsApp group which is the new mohalla. The best place to find lost and found things as well.
If your kids have done some mischief, gone are the days they can hide. In this virtual place already CCTV shorts would have been thoroughly analysed and if your kid is seen in those CCTV shots your kid is notified as the goonda in the community. I recollected an incident when I had that mohalla fight in my pre-teen days and faintly remember the dressing down I got from my father.
Back in the day, if at our home if we ran out of some grocery, my mother would ask me to get milk, sugar, or salt and sometimes medicines (Vicks), and sand cutters from our neighbourhood. In today’s day and age, it is balloon or cycle pumps, ladder, ice packs, and seldom printouts ( which has disappeared with e-boarding pass). Interesting how we have elevated our requirements with time. In today’s mohallah you will get to know about a lot of deals and also mouth-watering dishes which are home cooked-their booking opens and closes in a jiffy.
Today’s communities are vibrant and up-to-date. Last day of Navaratri I was out and was going around the apartment. I suddenly saw a procession and checked some photos. I called my wife and told her ” The setting is all done for Ravana to go in flames”. She had by now received photos through the community ladies’ WhatsApp group. We have just finished the Onam and Dussehra Puja celebrations. I recollect from the article in TOI that nicely captured the way these community functions, ” Fervent aarti to frenetic DJ night dance, art and the folklore fancy their dresses. Sassy seniors, fumbling toddlers, and all in between showcase their variegated talents to equal opportunity and applause. Another feature is the food fairs. Last time that was when I got to meet some people and had conversations. It ranged from you are not seen these days around and my standard response has always been, “On travel”, the only escape path for me.
Housing complexes in my view have given a new lease of life for the elderly community. There are designated meeting places for elderly mahila mandals. Some benches are placed around the apartment so that dada dadi can keep an eye on pota-poti and cell phone glued nannies would look around to broadcast the latest heppenings. It was the final day of Dussehra and I decided to get a feel of the festive mood. I had just crossed our apartment temple and suddenly I heard my name being called twice. They repeated and then added another name to it. That is when I realized that it was another gentleman whose name they were calling and later realised that he was part of the organising committee. I had my moments of embarrassment in the past when I had met with my 9th-floor neighbour and asked him umpteen times his name. My wife cautioned me not to ask his name next time as she noticed his facial expression last time.
This blog was inspired by an article in TOI “No-qualms quamsa”. It nicely captured how our modern-day housing society has become our new community. I would like to adopt what my mother has done over the years. My mother loves plants and now she is out of the country . When I was talking to her yesterday I was told that the neighbours were watering her plants. She makes it a point to call them once in a while and keep herself up to date about their well being. She also told me to call a couple of our relatives on the eve of Diwali.
My mother who studied philosophy looks like was inspired by Bertrand Russel’s credo who is also a philosopher. That was my Hand – Me – Down moment …Time to redeem.
